Song for this newsletter: here.
I have so many drafts in my writer’s dashboard and as I walked around the office thinking “why I can’t write?”, the answer hit me like a ton of bricks — I don’t want to write about the things I’m going trough, I’m afraid you’d know who or what I’m talking about and things get real. So I go about things in a mystery, hypothetical way, trying to keep it a little philosophical or abstract… and then there’s a whole bunch of words on a page and they don’t say anything.
So I end up talking about how exhausted I’ve been feeling and how I desperately need some time off (hello, lake house), some stupid fashion, my profound love for products that look like medicine containers (hello, aesop), and how happy I got when I finally found a decent raffia bag that doesn’t say summer-year-long-all-over-it. . . can’t pull that off in Canada.
But then I start. . . “people suck” — and immediately it becomes something super dramatic and I honestly don’t feel it should. Because everybody seems ok, nobody died and life goes on, but people suck.
I miss my friends but my missing them and I-wish-they-were-all-here-with-me-having-wine is precisely balanced by my being tired and I-want-to-see-The-Pitt-on-Crave.
I’ll try a new format, tell me if it’s annoying.
April 3 • Townhall announcements at work. People can be terrifying - “I won’t pray for you because you don’t believe in God” - not worth it, right? Have I ever mentioned that people suck? But it does make sense.
April 5 • I love Jack Black, I’ve loved him since The Jackal and then, of course, The Holiday.
**** What to do to stop thinking about tariffs? And revised tariffs? And the slow and agonizing death of everything that was… normal? I miss that medieval morning ritual of a cup of coffee, the newspaper and perhaps 2 emails with the Daily Candy subscription — simpler times I suppose. ****
April 9 • looks like carbs consumption contributes to a good or bad night of sleep.
Still, early days but I’m paying attention.
**** What makes us good or bad? We’ve already stablished that believing is God doesn’t do the trick. Can we be completely good or completely bad? Wouldn’t that be boring? One second and you’re figured out, labeled. Definitely easier… than the complexity and the nuances of a little bit of nice inside the bitch and a little bit of bitch inside the nice. I think. Tempting to let yesterday’s -18C winds on an April Tuesday decide that for me… Still, I keep asking Leo and Kelly the same question over and over… ****
April 13 • all Leo and I have left is The Last of Us - and its gore «brother, eww». Gotta love Pedro Pascal - since Marcus Pike, iykyk (lots of things to know about this).
We finished Schitt's Creek and we loved everything about it.
The Pitt is awesome, awesome and awesome, but that guy is Carter forever. Sorry, not sorry.
Completely addicted to all things Severance. And Silo. not sure how to survive until the next seasons.
Also, Reacher doesn’t hit soft.
**** I loved Shrinking so much I’m almost ready to say that I like it more than Friends… almost. but pretty sure. Judge me. . . . ****
April 14 • all you need is concealer and blush (a bronzer preferably). Trust me. Also, one glass of wine is better than three. Trust me on that one too. And I might have more information (and a photo) re carbs consumption, but, still, early days.
April 15 • days in the the office depend on the weather. Tuesday is the day I feel distracted, angry and kind of sad at the same time.
The greatest thing of the moment: air fryer eggs. They come out perfect every time and it’s great source of protein for a snack in the middle of the afternoon.
April 16 • Brian May playing at Coachella is a must-see video » here, because nothing else really matters. Except for Hole Hearted on repeat (take me back to 1992, the best year of MTV Brasil, - minus the traumas)… back then, all I needed to know was what kind of shampoo Nuno used.
» Changes are afoot. «
April 19 • Cool people. Very cool, I wonder how my life would be if I had a backyard. I think I’d love it. Sometimes I wish I could tell my friends how super cool they are and how much I like them in my life — without sounding like I’m in my deathbed and I want to get things our of my chest. I just do. I really love my friends. And their backyard.
April 20 • Easter. Have I ever mentioned that people suck? Well, they do.
I feel like Hannah, from 13 reasons why, walking around recording stuff, giving people chances that they don’t take.
April 21 • the Pope has died. Should I watch Angels and Demons again? I like that much better than the other Langdon movies.
Is it me or Birkenstocks with socks is the ultimate comfort? I should try that. Maybe not.
**** What makes us good or bad? We’ve already stablished that believing is God doesn’t do it. I feel like I’m getting close to something… not exactly an answer. Every chance not taken is a little sign, not exactly a full-on answer, but a step closer. Closer to what? A decision, not a decision to act on something but a decision to let go. ****
April 22 • Angels and Demons isn’t available in any of my 6 streaming platforms - buy if I pay $14,99 I can rent it. L.O.L. On the other hand, Conclave is available.
April 23 • three hats is way-too-many-hats.
It still looks like carbs consumption (or the lack thereof) contributes to a good or bad night of sleep.
I’ve been paying attention to that blonde lady who speaks for the White House. I mean she’s completely engulfed by the alt-right stupidity but it’s interesting. I think it’s because she has that bad bitch vibe about her, she’s up there saying all sorts of hallucinations, but she’s all cute and blonde, and that gold cross on her neck (I fell like if I stare at it for more than 3 seconds I’ll burst into flames). The thing is that she doesn’t back down… it all gives her the perfectly perverse look. If she were a vampire she’d rip people throats laughing and use their aortas as straws. I mean I don’t like (or agree with) what she says, she’s batshit crazy, but she’s a true bad bitch and I like that. Perhaps she is a vampire…
April 24 • I was so angry yesterday, mainly things about things I can’t control. Would be very helpful if I could control those thing. My problems would all be over.
I was also tired. Very tired. And usually I ask Leo that apparently this is all we do… wake up, watch Jimmy Kimmel’s monologues, drink coffee, drop son off to school, drink more coffee, work, pick up son from school, workout, cuddles with my son, eat, watch Severance occasionally, also occasionally drink wine, sleep. Is that all there is?
Today I got another subscriber.
April 25 • my love for beat-up bags (and sneakers). Nothing more boring than a bag - or a super white pair of sneakers - that looks brand new or treated like a piece of jewelry. Hashtag: boring. More Jane and Olsen, less Beckham, please.
I feel like my search for a vintage-beat-up bag is over. Let’s see.
I made 12 hard boiled eggs for handy snacks… as suspected, more protein (and less carbs) consumption is good for me. I feel better, I sleep better and my pants feel a little lose… this is what I call a win-win.
April 29 • coffee!!!! I feel a little relieved after yesterday’s election.
What’s up with these Labubu thingies? Bitch, please.
April 30 • soap opera from my previous office! omg!
Did you know that, for as little as $4.61, you can buy a real curse (or a real spell as it depends on the issue) from a real witch on Etsy? And it’s a best seller? Now my life is almost complete.
Anyhoo — bye for now.
C xox